Group provide sex toy assistance
15 August 2010
Hello Michelle! What gave you the idea to set up your service?
The idea arose in protest against the absurd attitudes on disability. It seems okay to put laxatives up someone’s behind, and wash genitals, but if the same person has sexual needs, they are either ignored or turned into a “problem”. Even if their sexual needs are recognized, no one seems to know how to deal with them. So during a late afternoon discussion, we decided to take matters into our own hands and provide a platform for disabled people to make sexual expression accessible. We help disabled people use sex toys.
Great! Do you help women as well as men?
Yes, it wouldn’t make sense fighting for equal rights and then rule someone out because of their gender. We believe in equality. We are all born with lust and desire; there’s just cultural shyness with women.
What is your background?
Both Asger and Michelle are studying sexology, and we work with disabled people. Asger has a degree in Health and Communication and does telephone counselling for a loneliness hotline. Michelle is studying for a degree in psychology.
Tell us about the work
The most amazing thing is how undramatic and natural it is. The first client was a guy with muscular dystrophy whose body felt so fragile that our greatest fear was that a shivering orgasm would break his bones. Of course, it didn’t. The machine worked its magic and the response was “I feel so good and relaxed — and the best thing is that I don’t feel ashamed, just relieved.”
Have you been able to teach some clients to manage without your service?
It’s more a matter of enabling them to learn more about their body and sexuality.
Do you think it would be possible to manufacture a toy which people with severe impairments could use on their own?
Absolutely; in fact, there are some good toys out there that are suitable for people with certain impairments. We have also discovered some really bad toys. The toys being produced in Japan show great promise and quality. There are custom-made toys but they cost $800 or more. That’s a lot to pay for an orgasm! We will visit the Venus Fair in Berlin this year and will hopefully return with pockets full of merchandise intended for people with disabilities. I went last year and didn’t find much.
How many of you do this work, and how do you share it?
Asger and Michelle do the hands-on work and Mette, a woman with muscular dystrophy, tests new toys, offers therapy, and helps us with lectures. Both Asger and Michelle take male and female clients. We charge £80 a session.
What distances will you travel to see a client?
For hands-on sex help, we cover the area around the capital. If we have enough clients within a certain area, we will travel further. We give lectures on our work all over Denmark.
Do you touch clients?
No. We apply the toy, leave the room, return whenever the client wishes, and we remove the toy and clean it. We don’t consider cuddling or touching as part of our job. Our ambition is to open the door to a part of their sexuality that has been locked up behind bars for many many years. This will, hopefully, help many people find the courage and the desire to start dating, flirting, chatting etc. with whomever they like, thereby breaking the barriers of isolation and stigmatization.