How Do You Deal With Sexual Frustration?

[Naughty_Dalek]

Ok this one is a bit out of character for me. But figured I'd throw this one out to the board at large and see what sort of things we all do to deal with our sexual frustration.

Of course this is partly based on my insensative jokey post on the other thread.

Obviously I sit on my hand til it goes numb and knock one off but I have other methods that are not sexual. For example video games, writing, drawing and any number of creative and none creative things will take my mind of sex - and given that have not bothered with sex for about 18 months I think lol - it obviously works.

I avoid porn movies - they just don't turn me on. Would rather make my own anyway. Have never been a voyaur - always been more of a doer than a watcher.

So for those times where I can't go out and get laid - or do not have the money to book someone to help me with those sexual frustrations and such. I usually throw myself into something creative.

Hell when a girlfriend started cheating on me a number of years back and opted to dump me before I got round to dumping her. I went through 24 hours of self doubt recriminations, blaming myself, blaming her and all that emotional bullshit and thought, 'Right, this is bullshit! Enough already - then spent the next 24 hours learning basic HTML and built my first website.

So what sort of things do you guys and gals do to take your mind off of your frustrations.

[Bicarbonate Of Chicken]

Hi, I'm new around here!

I find that much like you I usually throw myself into things to deal with frustrations, mainly non-sexual activities too.

The more time I put into it the less I time I spend thinking about my sexual frustrations and also health problems basically.

I have lots of these lillte note books that I like to draw in (crazy things) and write my thoughts down. They don't make alot of sense but it helps. Some good ideas come out of them when I look back at old ones.

Often I'll take my computer to bits and upgrade it, or build a new one for someone else when they need one.

I grew up playing lots of video games, I still find there's little better if you want to just lose yourself for a while. I rent a lot of films by post. I read too, but mostly non-fiction, science and history. Oh and graphic novels and travel books.

When my health allows I like to get outside and dig, so I grow vegetables.

Podcasts are great, I subscribe lots of those.

[Leah]

Well done to Dalek for posting a serious take on this (eventually)! And well done to the newbie Bicarb for adding to this.

But I'm surprised that still so few "members" have offered up their experience of sexual frustration and how they deal with it on a day-to-day basis, especially given the increasing footfall (albeit virtual lol). Suppose its a matter of weighing up how to sound real about the downs without sounding too negative and depressing, and then attempt to scribe something that puts a positive slant on it. Maybe some people aren't managing their frustrations, but feel unable to share this?

I think its great that both Dalek and Bicarb promote keeping busy as a strategy to alleviate sexual frustration. But I've learned (the hard way) that's its also not necessarily always a good idea to deal with our sexual frustration by throwing ourselves into non-sexual activities or distractions. Indeed, keeping really busy in such ways can easily lead someone on a journey down the slippery road of not being able to identify or accept these frustrations. I found it quite a painful process to face and deal with my sexual frustrations head-on, because by distracting myself for such a long time, I'd managed to suppress my feelings of physical and emotional loneliness - facing my sexual frustrations meant I had to face and accept these too. But I have done it now, and I'm glad I did - whats more, I don't intend going back to a life of complete distraction from sex or my frustrations.

In case you're wondering though, I didn't do it all on my own, so I cant even take the credit lol. I was lucky in falling upon a very special muse (sadly for me, that's all he wanted to be lol), and he helped me unlock that part of my life - a life I'd so wrongly been suppressing. If nothing else, get yourself a muse I say! So now, I still keep busy of course, but at the same time I also don't run away from my sexual frustrations, and make sure I give more time to deal with them and even more care to understand them.

It may just be me, but I often think that disabled people struggle much more than most to come across with sophistication in appearing detached from the frustrations of every day life, even more so when it comes to sexual frustration. But this site can at least go some way to help disabled people in this respect, if more members join and are brave enough to share!

xx

[Bicarbonate Of Chicken]

I hope more people are brave enough to share too, I would certainly be interested in hearing more peoples experiences myself.

Leah, I found your reply really interesting thank you. I think I do tend to distract myself from my issues and frustrations too much, rather than deal with them. That approach, as you say, may not always be the way to go! I hope by joining here I might help that. Also Its true that you don't want to come across as too depressing complaining!

I really feel that I need to acknowledge my sexual feelings more and find a way of opening up about them and expressing them. Its not that I never acknowlegde them too myself but I think that is how I come across to others and they in turn now see me in a kind of a non sexual way. Maybe I will find a muse too, I would certainly like to give it a go! My circumstances and location are a bit limiting in that respect but I think it would do me the world of good emotionally and confidence-wise. Although I am happy keeping myself busy I can't go on denying a part of my life on hold like that.

[Leah]

There is a muse.com - but unfortunately, it wont have this kind of muse!

xx

[Naughty_Dalek]

Hi Leah,

Yes I can be serious - but also feel the need to clown around at times. Clowning is just my way of dealing with stuff. When I feel down I clown - when I feel upbeat I tend to be somewhat more level headed. When i'm angry I'll often cut loose and clown after have let off a bit of steam.

As to sexual frustration. I usually find all manner of creative ways to deal with those. Though its been harder of late due to the fact that I've just found out that I have a degenerative back problem - ontop of the mild Cerebral Palsy. So awaiting physio at the moment to help me deal with that. I may actually ask to see a back specialist and see what they can suggest because its sort of had too much power over me for the last year or two. Partly because have been in denail about it - and also because am not the best when it comes to asking for help and support. I'm feircely independant and emotionally self contained. Perhaps too self contained but my experiences as a child and young adult sort of made me that way.

[Naughty_Dalek]

[Bicarbonate Of Chicken]

Yes I mean comics! When I typed that I had a feeling I'd prompt a response! hehe, at least I didn't put sequential art and sound even more pompous.

I never read the Da Vinci Code, everyone was telling me I should, but I managed to resist that one! I used to read alot more fiction but as I get older I find I prefer to read 'real' stories about people and the world etc/ Maybe it has something to do with not being able to travel so easily myself now that I want to hear other peoples experiences more, or maybe it was the fact I had so many unfinished books lying around I needed a change.

[Leah]

Fiction's great (and sequential art ok for you boys lol) , but sometimes you just cant beat REAL, can you?

xx

[Naughty_Dalek]

Real? What the hecks that. Oh you mean like real - skin on skin - friction - carpet burns.

I get you.

Fantasy often borrows from reality or vice a versa lol.

[Leah]

I meant REAL everything!

Fantasy is great (necessary even), but there has to be balance. And if you've been living fantasies or been away from REAL for too long, a really good serving of REAL is what you REALLY need lol!

xx

[Naughty_Dalek]

[Shia]

Dear All,

I'm not disabled myself but I serve them with my writing creativity through e-mails or MSN as I'm experienced in adult role playing and sex chat /but no camera, please/. First I was helping out a writing mate in such situation so I know a little about this aspect of being disabled, if you'd ask me about my motivation.
If anybody here, male or female feel like he/she was in need, let me know. If you use a slow typing method that's not a problem for me at all.

You can reach me at my contact info only please sign you are from TLC.

Thanks
& blessings ~

Daughter of Sea
- free service for a smile