Background
The number of disabled people in the UK — currently 6 million — is rising and there is an ever-increasing feeling amongst us of emotional isolation and sexual exclusion. Those disabled people who are able to mix in society, and meet new people, invariably find ourselves accepted as friends but not as lovers. Some disabled people die having never experienced physical affection such as a cuddle, let alone sexual pleasure with another human being. Even those disabled people who are lucky enough to attract partners tend to find ourselves needing professional help from time to time.
TLC is collecting some wonderful men and women who are willing to provide this professional help, and is slowly building a framework of good practice to create a respectable and responsible service and be listed on disability databases around the country.
TLC sex workers prepare clients to best approach a prospective partner, flirt, and develop their own sexual relationships. TLC sex workers also try to help clients gain the confidence to negotiate and solve sexual problems as they occur. Many clients are pleased to discover for themselves that sex is something they can enjoy rather than fear.
TLC sex workers see both disabled men and women. TLC wishes to reach more disabled women, as women tend to suffer in silence. With negative early conditioning, being put down and told that we should not be sexy, disabled women tend to ignore our sexual difficulties and accept the fact that we are not experiencing any sexual pleasure, without complaining.
TLC is identifying areas where help is needed:
- Intimacy – touch, tenderness, kissing and cuddling help us feel human. This is especially true for people with body tremor, excess sweating and disfigurement.
- People may need help with dealing with pain, breathing difficulties, weakness, stiff joints, etc.
- People with short or weak arms may need help with sexual relief. They can be introduced to gadgets and helped to experiment so that they learn to reach orgasm by self pleasuring.
- Deaf/blind and blind people sometimes need an opportunity to explore bodies and learn about body language and relationships.
- People with speech and hearing impairments may need help in exploring ways of communicating sexually.
- People with extreme fear of rejection may need to practice approaching potential partners, gain more confidence, and experience acceptance.
- Socially and sexually phobic people can be introduced to things they fear, gently and slowly, and taught how to deal with their condition.
- People with congenital dislocation of the hip and with cerebral palsy can learn about relaxation techniques and other ways to spread their legs and enjoy intercourse without pain.
- People with Autism and Aspergers Syndrome may need to learn how to read the subtle signals of socialising and erotic flirtation, and overcome the difficulties when they fail to read them.
- People with learning disabilities may need to learn about sexual pleasures, techniques and appropriate interaction.
- Many other conditions make it difficult to start a relationship and enjoy sex:- Ostomies, strokes, amputation, Gilles de la Tourette Syndrome, eczema, epilepsy, spinal injury, MS, restricted growth ….. the list is endless.