Training

The Need for Training

TLC and some of our sex workers are aware of the need for training, to learn more, and help less experienced sex workers deal with disabled clients more effectively. However, with the laws being debated and threats of draconian laws being introduced, it seems pointless setting up training programmes.

Areas for training would include:

• The purchasing and fixing of hoists for wheelchair users who cannot transfer from their wheelchairs onto a bed

• Improving communication via AAC (augmentative alternative ways of communication) with clients who speak via a machine or letter-board

• Teaching clients with physical, sensory and learning disabilities ways to start a loving relations

• The effects of spinal injury, MS, Spina Bifida and other impairments on sexual function

• Helping clients accept and enjoy non-penetrative sex and sex without erections and/or orgasm

• How to act as an enabler with two disabled clients who need physical assistance to enjoy their sexlife together

• Helping disabled people discover how to involve their disability in BDSM play.

Current Training in the UK Some sex workers attend the workshops run by Shakti Tantra (www.shaktitantra.co.uk) to learn how to make the session with their clients more fulfilling, so that both they and the clients come away from the session in a state of wellbeing rather than sadness or emptiness.

A global history of surrogate/sex work with disabled people

Some people prefer to use the term Surrogate Partner for people who offer sexual help. The term was first used in the USA by Masters and Johnson in 1970 when they published their book Human Sexual Inadequacy. They were having a great deal of success working with couples, and in order to be able to work with single people who were experiencing sexual dysfunction they trained and hired women to substitute for the wife of a client, in a program that was identical (or very similar) to their couples treatment program.

IPSA was founded in 1973 (just three years after Masters and Johnson first proposed the idea of surrogate partner therapy), by a group of surrogates who created it as a support group for themselves. Within five years it had expanded to become a professional body, with a code of ethics, which was conducting trainings and setting some standards for the developing profession. IPSA is the only functioning organization for surrogates, and really has been the only functioning organization for surrogates throughout its history. There have been some other people who have tried to form groups, and were able to form support groups, but never maintained any ongoing presence as a professional organization. IPSA is a California non-profit education corporation, and it concentrates on surrogates who work within a therapy session, with no special interest in disability.

However, 50% of IPSA clients are late-life male virgins. They also see a high proportion of an obese women who need help working on feeling OK with themselves and their bodies, getting honest feedback from their partners about what it feels like to have a hug or sit close. Some of the surrogates trained at IPSA went on to specialise in seeing disabled clients.

Throughout the 70's, 80's and 90's, Dr Martin Cole, a botanist at Aston University ran The Institute of Sex in Birmingham, providing a sex surrogate service, including disabled surrogates and services to disabled people. Martin was one of the surrogates and trained his stuff himself. It was a commercial venture and operated outside the professional sex therapy world. Because Birmingham needs to have a vibrant sex industry in order to accommodate the National Exhibition Centre, Martin's Institute was tolerated by the authorities. When Martin retired, the Institute was closed.

The Dutch have always been great traders, famous for their progressive and lively sex trade. In the 90's a group called SAR formed in Amsterdam, providing sex partners for disabled people. The fees were low and the surrogates would visit disabled men and women in their homes or in hotel rooms. The service was featured on a Channel 4 documentary and showed a disabled woman having regular fun with a male surrogate. Their website was in Dutch and did not give details of the training which the surrogates received. Recently, SAR has become less popular and a more glamorous service has been built up by sex workers called Sociaal Erotische Bemiddeling which can be viewed on http://www.maaskringgroep.nl/default.asp?id=2621

Several initiatives were attempted by professionals around the globe, notably pioneer Cory Silverberg, one of the authors of the book, the Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, who runs groups from the Toronto cooperative disability-positive sex store, Come as You Are. At the end of the 90's British gay disabled sex therapist Dominic Davis attended Australia's first conference for lesbain, gay, bisexualand transgendered people with disabilities and, with George Taleporos, Kali Wilde, Lisa Sampson and Kath Duncan initiated the Sexual Relationship Facilitation Project for People with Disabilities, to promote the development of disabled people's self esteem, enhance body awareness and develop skills and confidence in forming sexual and emotional relationships through surrogate therapy, preferably including touch and bodily contact.

Many initiatives have failed because it is very difficult to organise disabled clients seeing sex workers, partly because there is no funding and partly because of the stigma. Sometimes, it works better when training is taken out of the equation, and government policy is changed to arrange for disabled residents to visit local brothels (as is the case in Tasmania).

Sexual Assistants

Nina de Vries calls herself a Sexual Assistant for Disabled people and currently works in Berlin. She also trains others to become Sexual Assistants around Europe. There was an article about her work in Bizarre. Nina sees clients with Downs Syndrome, autistic people, people with brain injury, many being severely impaired. These sessions require much preparation in the way of intensive talks with parents or professionals working with the disabled person. Nina offers massage, body to body contact, embracing, stroking, touching, no intercourse or oral contact, but she will bring clients to an orgasm manually. It is often the first time in their lives that they have close , sensual contact with a woman. Some need coaching on how to masturbate. Her service makes them feel happier, less frustrated and raises their self esteem. Nina has recently trained other sexual assistants in Vienna and is available for hire as a trainer. www.sexualassistenz.ch/links.htm

Touching Base

Touching Base is a not-for-profit project that has been active since October 2000. Touching Base developed out of the need to assist people with disabilities and sex workers to connect with each other, focusing on access, discrimination, human rights and legal issues and the attitudinal barriers that these two marginalised communities can face. group assisting people with disabilities and sex workers to connect with each other, focusing on access, discrimination, human rights and legal issues and the attitudinal barriers that these two marginalised communities can face www.touchingbase.org The Touching Base website does not list sex workers or details of their training programmes.

International Professional Surrogates Association

IPSA 3428 Motor Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90034 United States of America

Telephone: +1 (310) 836 1662 email: Info@SurrogateTherapy.org Ipsa1@aol.com Websites: www.surrogatepartners.org(IPSA) in Southern California www.sexualpartners.org

SAR

SAR (Netherlands) Postbus 875, 3700 AW Zeist, Netherlands

Telephone: +31 (0)30 696 0390

Erotische Bemiddeling

Sociaal Erotische Bemiddeling, Bezoekadres, 1e Pijnackerstraat 100b, 3035 GV Rotterdam,

Postal Address

Postadres Postbus 3221, 3003 AE Rotterdam, Netherlands

Telephone: 010 466 35 95. ameijerKeerkring, RIBW Rijnmond en Maasstad Bezoekadres:Baan 50, 3011 CC Rotterdam. Telephone +31 (0)10 411 6120 e-mail:ingang@maaskringgroep.nl www.maaskringgroep.nl/default.asp?id=2621

Come As You Are

in Toronto, Canada Website: www.comeasyouare.com

Touching Base (Australia)

P.O. Box 1354, Strawberry Hills, NSW 2012, Australia

General Enquiries: info@touchingbase.org Training and Seminars:training@touchingbase.org Website:www.touchingbase.org